Unconditional Love: Grace in Motherhood and Faith

What does a mother's love on Mother's Day reveal about divine grace? Drawing this powerful parallel, today's episode explores grace as unconditional love that finds us even when we're struggling with our own imperfections.

Looking at cultural images of "perfect mothers" from June Cleaver to Roseanne, we acknowledge that real parenting involves both triumphs and struggles – just like our spiritual journey. The letter to Ephesians provides our scriptural foundation, reminding us we're "created in Christ Jesus for good works." This isn't about some distant heavenly realm but God's vision for transforming this world through grace-filled living.

John Wesley's three-part framework of grace offers profound insights into our spiritual development. Provenient grace comes before we're even aware – like infant baptism, where a community surrounds a child with such powerful love that they'll come to recognize God's presence through these human connections. Justifying grace helps us understand we're worthy in God's eyes despite our flaws. Rather than a single dramatic epiphany, most of us experience this through countless small moments of recognition throughout our lives.

Sanctifying grace draws us deeper, like spiritual "Pringles" or "carne asada" – one taste and we crave more connection with God. This explains why we move from attending worship to joining study groups to eventually leading ministries. We're "God junkies" seeking deeper experiences of divine love. Wesley even spoke of "Christian perfection" – those rare, perfect moments when we're exactly who God intends us to be. Like those instances when we parent exactly right, these glimpses of perfection sustain us through our ongoing transformation.

Ready to explore how grace is working in your life? Join us in discovering how these three types of grace are transforming you from the inside out. Where have you experienced a perfect moment of connection with God recently?

Chapters

• 0:00 Mother's Day and Unconditional Love
• 2:42 Ephesians and God's Grand Vision
• 5:34 Paul's Transformation Through Grace
• 7:14 Wesley's Three Types of Grace
• 11:00 Justifying Grace: Knowing Our Worth
• 16:48 Sanctifying Grace: Growing Deeper
• 21:18 Christian Perfection: Cherishing Perfect Moments

Transcript

Pastor Darren: 0:00

So, yeah, we're talking about grace, such an important concept for a United Methodist and I thought what is a better example of grace than the love of a mother on Mother's Day, am I right? Is that a good one? Right? You know, being a parent myself, I feel like sometimes we love them unconditionally and sometimes we're not even really happy that we love them unconditionally, right, you know, you have that sense, because they just there's this tie, that there's something there in the biology or what have you, in the divinity of intimate relationships. And you know, I started thinking of some of our images of perfect moms that we have culturally, the ones we all kind of share. You know, I'm thinking was it June Cleaver from way back when? Right, carol Brady, the perfect moms? I don't know. Can you think of others? I don't know. Can you think of others? I don't know, pastor got bad ears. Harriet Nelson, right Now we're going way back there again.

Pastor Darren: 1:14

Are there not? See everybody today? They're just on their. You know, the TikToks and things like that. The moms are influencers that I wouldn't recognize, right? But other moms that you think of, like, oh, that was a good mom, I'm trying to be a mom, just like that. Nobody said, Roseanne, that one didn't come up, see, and part of it. I really appreciate Roseanne as a mom, as a parent, because there was this reminder that we're not quite perfect as parents, right, you know somebody that was willing to embrace that and not have it all the rough edges evened out. It was like it was just there and it was, in that sense, I did appreciate that because it helped me to remember. You know, I'm trying to be a good parent, you know, and I'm working hard at it, and I think moms probably would feel the same way. And every now and again, every now and again, I get it right, surprise, surprise, and we hit it strong and I celebrate that when that happens.

Pastor Darren: 2:22

So, taking that sort of model, that metaphor, into mind here, as we go into Ephesians to learn a little bit more about grace, as Linda said, the letter to the Ephesians is supposed to be this kind of grand vision of a Christian future. Right, this is what it's going to look like for us down here when we all start living into God's love better and more passionately and more continually. Now here is one little question that lurks in the midst of all of that and it gets us here on verse 6, and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Sometimes people will read Ephesians and they'll start thinking that Paul or the Pauline writer here is talking about something beyond this world. And so we wrestle right, oh, this is the world we're going to get to go to, you know next. But I've always wrestled with that idea that he's talking about some other world, or at least that that's all that he's talking about. I really feel like this writer is trying to get us into the place where we are, are talking about how our behavior in this world is affected, and I see it here in verse 10. For we are what he has made us. Created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life. Created in Christ Jesus for good works. I'm kind of thinking if good works are the priority, are the goal, then that must mean here, that must mean building this world that God wants built down here, that our Pauline Ryder wants built down here, that that our Pauline writer once built, and it would make sense for a, for somebody who was really close to Paul, or even Paul himself, this idea of the grace of God and how important God's grace is.

Pastor Darren: 4:40

Do you remember in in verse 3, when it started talking about children of wrath? I mean, that was kind of Paul. Some of you know the story of Paul, who was Saul, somebody who was chasing Christians down, somebody who was oppressing Christians. And then has this awakening God Jesus comes to him, blinds him and says I'm looking for you to change your ways, paul. And he fights it. And then he gets awakened to this new understanding of what it means to live in this world, what it means to live life in a more bountiful way. And for him, being that kind of creature of wrath, this person who wasn't very nice, in fact doing some un-nice things, for God to come to him, well, what other word is there but grace, unconditional love. You could argue he didn't deserve unconditional love and yet he got it. So it makes sense to me that Paul would be talking about grace and the importance of grace.

Pastor Darren: 5:55

Even John Wesley right, who we've been talking about last week, we're going to talk about for a few more weeks. Grace would be so important to him. You were here last week, you may remember, when I was talking about how he had. He had that experience. His heart strangely warmed for me, an experience of realizing God's grace, god's love for him. He thought, if he worked really hard and he created this absolutely brilliant method for following Christ and understanding scripture, that that was what was going to get him into God's good graces, that was what was going to make God love him. And then he has that experience at Aldersgate that says wait a minute, I don't have to earn this, I probably can't earn this because it's already coming to me. That's the type of grace that we're talking about here. That's the grace that Paul, that John Wesley wants us to know, the grace that God wants us to feel as we walk our way in this world. So I use that as my avenue into Wesleyan grace.

Pastor Darren: 7:14

Wesleyan grace it is grounded in the grace that we have been saved through faith and that we are created in Christ Jesus for good works. Both verses from our Ephesians passage today and Wesley this could be a good passage for him as he reaches into that understanding. He breaks it up into three different types of grace, three different types. How many engineers out there? All right, we got a couple, aren't you glad? I'm numbering it. You can take some notes. Have some organization. Finally, pastor, all right, this is for you Three. I might even give you bullets. I'm teasing the engineers but they're just staring at me Like right, you guys are very ordered. John's not smiling at all. Come on now, we're having fun here. The number the first one the grace that comes. Before we call it provenient grace. I have a definition up here.

Pastor Darren: 8:23

Provenient grace in Christian theology is the grace of God that proceeds and enables a person to respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ. It suggests God initiates the process of salvation by drawing individuals to God, making it possible for them to choose to believe. So a little bit complex there. The simple way to say it is the gift from God that comes to us, of a love that finds us before we even know it exists, before we even know that God loves us unconditionally. That love is coming to us and it's coming to us in a way that we start to understand that love.

Pastor Darren: 9:13

I always think of baptism when I think of pervenient grace, baptism, remember, we're making some commitment to God. Do you ever wonder in baptism, that commitment to God that babies are making? When we do the infant baptism, do you ever ask yourself well, wait a minute, how's that baby making a choice Anybody. No, you've all got it figured out. We're mature theologians. Don't just patronize us, pastor. All right, let's pretend I'm the one who asks this question. We ask ourselves okay, well, what promises are being made then? What's the commitment that's happening? And if you look at the actual ritual, you look at the liturgy, the baby's obviously not making promises. It's the parents, it's the grandparents, it's the community around the child, it's the parents, it's the grandparents, it's the community around the child, it's the congregation around the child. Those are the promises that are being made. And why is that? Except that they are promising to live God's unconditional love so powerfully, to live God's unconditional love so powerfully, so intentionally, that the baby is going to know that love. The baby's going to know that it exists. At a time when a baby can't really understand the idea of a God, or even that a God might love them, what they can know is that their parents love them unconditionally, that their congregation loves them unconditionally. To me, that is the best example of what provenient grace is, because in that unconditional love that's delivered from God through that community, that person's going to know that they are loved, that community, that person's going to know that they are loved.

Pastor Darren: 11:23

The next type of a Wesleyan grace is called justifying grace. Here's the big words. You know where I got the big words Google? Google's like it's a pretty good tool, everyone you know. I thought, all right, maybe I'll start writing something out. What does Google have to say about this? And then it turns out they're actually pretty good. So what are you going to do? Right, Justifying grace in Christian theology, particularly within Wesleyan traditions Like I said, wesleyan traditions, very much integrated with grace.

Pastor Darren: 11:50

It's an important concept for us, united Methodists and other Wesleyan churches. It refers to the grace by which God declares a person righteous and forgives their sins, restoring them to a right relationship with him. This grace is a gift from God, received through faith in Jesus Christ, and it's the foundational step in the process of salvation. So again, thick words. I wanted to give you the formal definition. Let me simplify it for you a little bit. This is God's gift of our being able to know that we are justified in God's sight, the gift that we can know that God loves us and know that we are I like to use the word worthy we are worthy in God's eyes. That's a gift that God gives us, an unconditional gift to be able to recognize that love.

Pastor Darren: 12:54

Personally, I think this is the experience, this is the type of grace that Wesley experienced at Aldersgate. Like I said earlier, he's sitting there working really hard, developing those holy groups that have this highly routine method of following God and learning faith and deepening in your relationship, and he's getting really intense with everybody around him. You might think I don't know Danny DeVito out there trying to convince you to follow God. You know that kind of image Hmm, you guys are laughing really loud on the inside is what I'm hearing. Yeah, he felt like he had to do it right, he had to do it perfect, he had to work harder than everybody else and that is what God was going to see and that is what was going to save him. And then he's at Aldersgate and he realizes wait a minute, I'm already saved. God already loves me. I just need to believe it, I need to have faith in it. That's why he says we are saved by grace, through faith. It only works if we believe it, if we live it, and I think that is what happened with Wesley.

Pastor Darren: 14:21

Then we think about that and we hear that story, I offer that story, and then we think of justifying grace as some sort of epiphany, some moment right when God comes down and the lights shine bright and we get this ultimate answer to all the challenges of our life, and God bless them. Some people get that, and I hate them, because it was never that easy for me. It's been a long journey of just working with God and walking with God, and so we think of that justifying grace moment as being such an epiphany. But isn't it for most of us, a lot of small epiphanies, a lot of small moments where we start looking at our lives and at ourselves and we're reminded of something that we haven't been able to do right and we continue to do it wrong. I'm not supposed to eat these anymore, and yet here I am again. I'm not supposed to be getting angry about these anymore, and yet here I am again, these moments of questioning in ourselves whether we're justified, whether we're worthy, because we can't figure out how to be perfect, how to do it right.

Pastor Darren: 15:47

A lot of us wrestle with just that self-love. We think that this whole new movement of loving yourself is something new. It's not new. We've just changed the language Right, where today we might say something like instead of saying you've got to love yourself, we would say. We would say the creator of all, that is, the source of love itself, loves you with all of your imperfections, so maybe you should love yourself too.

Pastor Darren: 16:26

Justifying grace is an important grace because it might be the one we wrestle with the most. All right, a third type of grace, sanctifying grace. This is the big definition. Sanctifying grace In Christian theology, it's a divine gift from God that dwells within the soul, enabling it to live a life pleasing to God and ultimately achieving eternal salvation. Pleasing to God and ultimately achieving eternal salvation. It is often called habitual grace or deifying grace, as it becomes a permanent part of the soul, transforming it into a child of God. You got it. Would you pass the test right now? Right, if I pad the quiz? I threw it out there. Does it all make sense? Here's a simplification, pastor Darren's simplification.

Pastor Darren: 17:14

To me, it means God has given you the gift of the capacity to grow in your depth of faith. You are able to work in your own way towards getting closer to God and what God wants for you, to being the person that God wants you to be, to reaching the people God wants you to reach. There is a part of the divine in you that draws you to the deeper, the depths of our existence, and it shapes our soul. And God is always inviting us into those depths, not only from outside ourselves inviting us into those spiritual depths, but it's also coming from inside, a desire to want to be in a deeper intimacy with the source of love for this world, an intimacy that leads to some peace, to some comfort, to some feelings of justice and context. It's like God is always inviting us into that depth and, as a Wesleyan, that invitation to me is driven by justifying grace. We get a little affirmation You're worthy, worthy of God. God loves you. We get a little affirmation and we want more of that.

Pastor Darren: 18:46

Why do people grow? As a Wesleyan? It's because we get a taste of justifying grace and we want more and we start working into those ways of sanctifying grace and what you find is that the more you want that, the deeper you want to go, the more you got to engage in it. So you'll come to church and you'll learn and you'll be being fed by that. And then all of a sudden you're like you know, I might, I might need to do a study, I might need to do a mission project to get to, to get you know we're we're god junkies now and we need to get our fix of that affirmation of that love. And then we do that for a while and then we realize, you know, I really I think I could run that thing. I feel like God maybe wants me to go even a next level and start organizing the mission, leading the Bible study. That's kind of how it rolls out. We United Methodists we're counting on that. That. You get a little piece of that and then you just start moving closer and closer because we've got that capacity, the gift of God to be able to work on it and we're just drawn into that depth and we want more and more and more.

Pastor Darren: 20:05

It's like Pringles, really Right, you get into that, can you know? It's barely food, and yet you're like one. And then there's two, you know, and before long you're halfway through the tube. Or maybe for you it's like carne asada. You ever had really good carne asada? It's like it's candy and you're like I'll just have a little bit. Are you with me? Say amen, if you're with me. Oh, yeah, you've been there. What else would be on your list? I got carne asada on mine. Chocolate oh no, genetically engineered to grab us. Yeah, it takes hold of us and I'm making light of it in a certain way, but that's the idea for United Methodist. That's the draw for us is that affirmation, that context, that is a loving context. It just draws us in.

Pastor Darren: 21:13

Now I want to finish by talking about perfection, because this is a provocative thing. It's mostly a Wesleyan thing, because most faith movements don't want you to talk about perfection. They want to steer you away from arrogance and feeling like you have too much control. God is the source. Stay focused on God.

Pastor Darren: 21:34

But Wesley did not shy away from the idea that there was a state of perfection that can be reached, and I think the reason he was able to do this is because he realized that it was temporal. You could reach a state of perfection, but then life would move on and you may not be in that state, but you could, for a moment, be exactly who God wanted you to be, doing exactly what God wanted you to do, reaching exactly who God wanted you to reach, living deeply in that spirit. Wesley felt like you could get there. But there are moments of that and my guess is the people in the room have had similar moments like that where you're like ah, this is it, this is where God wants me to be, this is where God has me getting nourished, this is where God wants me to be, this is where God has me getting nourished, this is where God has me living out my call using my gifts. And there was that moment, and you were fed by that moment in deep, deep ways and it was, in its own way, perfect, if just for that moment. Perfect if just for that moment.

Pastor Darren: 22:53

To me, I can feel that metaphor, that understanding, when I think about parenting. You know, we're talking with all the moms today. You know, on Mother's Day and about parenting and about being a mom, and maybe you're like me just a little bit. You want to love them unconditionally. And sometimes you do Full confession. I'm not a perfect parent. My daughter's here, she can attest Don't do too much attesting though, friends here after all but I'm not the perfect parent, but I, you know, I'm doing the best that I can and hopefully, with with God's help, with God's grace in all its forms, I get better as I go along. Every now and again I make the right decision. Every now and again I say the right thing and sometimes I get it just right, if only for a moment. But aren't those the moments that we live for, the moments that we cherish in life? And we have that moment and we go back to God and we say give me some more of that, amen. Amen.